Beware of Greeks Bearing Gifts: Week 6 Picks
Updated: 8 minutes ago
There he was, a disheveled, hungover mess snoring in the middle of King Midas’ perfectly manicured rose garden. Drunk, Silenus was found trespassing the royal grounds, yet asleep.
In lieu of punishment the intruder was entreated with a 10 day feast to honor him.
Unbeknownst to king Midas, Silenus was the tutor and close friend of Dionysus.
Graciously Dionysus offered Midas a wish in return for his hospitality. He wished, foolishly in retrospect, that everything he touched would turn to gold. That fateful gift in reckless hands would backfire.
Initially, as he added to his wealth, turning tables, chairs and mundane items to gold, Midas was awestruck. But when food and drink were transformed to gold upon his he touch his spirits dampened; them catastrophe struck. His daughter Zoe unknowingly ran to hug him becoming a statue, albeit a valuable one.
In Aristotle’s version the king ran out of time and died of starvation mired in regret, and guilt, never to see redemption.
"How can that be wealth of which a man may have a great abundance and yet perish with hunger, like Midas in the fable, whose insatiable prayer turned everything that was set before him into gold?"
— Aristotle, from “Politics”
As most good stories go there are versions and iterations, details and descriptions evolving and shifting over time and space. Often, the account and its respective details become the very story itself.
In Ovid’s Metamorphoses, Midas pleaded with Bacchus/Dionysus who tells him to wash his hands in the Pactolus River and rid himself of the gift that cursed him.
Redemption, or demise are in the pen of the poet. The version you choose is in the lessons you learn.
Sometimes you are blinded by the gift. Had it played out in the 16th century, last week’s pillow fight, er, NFL contest, could have been the inspiration for Shakespeare’s “Comedy of Errors.”
On Washington’s 24-yard line, the human test case for brain trauma, Giants running back, Can Skateboo gifted the ball, and the game, to the “Commanders”.
What an oxymoron! Though responsible commandeering coming out of the capital, would make headlines too. Without so much as a tweet of encouragement from the Oval Office, the team from Washington committed the biggest management gaffe since the reflective pool refurbishment.
Theories abound as to how they lost track of time and let the clock run out without attempting a short field goal to win the game. They were well within distance for the kicker with 55 seconds left in overtime.
With only 12 seconds left Commanders quarterback Jayden Daniels took the snap and
held the ball, left time and space, ecstatically dancing, juking and jiving like Aaron Rodger’s at a ayahuasca retreat. In his stupor he took a sack!
After being tackled in the middle of field he stood up without urgency as the other 21 players on the field enacted some version of Charades.
One side hopping around to get back in the formation as their opponent drag’s it feet back behind the line-of-scrimmage like a toddler just told to put down their IPad and get dressed for school.
The players on the field appeared to think they had time until they saw the coaches on the sideline jumping up and down. No tie has ever felt more like a loss than that one.
Washington coach Dan Quinn wanted to run some clock and get a little closer considering the bad weather and Drew Stevens’ missed extra point earlier in the game, but the decision was ghastly.
Considering that Wahington let old eccentric Jameis Winston in, played the gracious host, was gifted the football in overtime and took their donation for granted dancing the clock away to their demise.
Where they go from here is their story to write. Do they go the way of Aristotle and abuse the unbridled gifts of Jayden and good fortune, or Ovid, and learn the lessons their gifts well stewarded, were meant to bestow.
Washington is going to San Francisco this week as 7.5 point under dog. The 49ers appear to be the best team in the league but they are dealing with a lot of injuries and pundits are waiting for them to trip up.
The public is staking the 49ers, but the Greek Uncles in Chicago think Washington has learned its lesson. Photographed in practice wearing his hat forwards, Quinn didn't lose the locker room last season despite the terrible year the team had with injuries leading to losses. His team never quit on him and we expect them to show up in California and cover the spread.
We like Cleveland at home (+3.5) against a Lamar Jacksonless Baltimore and the Patriots (-7) to blow out the Jets.
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