Back in Business: Week 17 Picks

The Ancient Greek playwright Aeschylus said that pain is a teacher, not just an annoyance. Much later, Jane Fonda popularized the phrase "No pain, no gain" in her aerobics videos.

Despina loved those Jane Fonda videos. She would watch the videos and exercise every morning before cleaning houses. Her cousin in America sent the videos to help her get in shape for her upcoming wedding to Lefteri. He was the town hunk and she'd edged out her cousin Tina for his heart.

A couple weeks before the wedding, Despina slipped on the marble floor doing the high impact aerobics video and hurt her back. She knew she shouldn't have worn socks, but Jane Fonda without slouch socks is like a tzatziki without garlic -what’s the point?

She couldn’t walk so the wedding was postponed. The doctors gave her pain meds and told her to stay off her feet. The old women gave her timeless recipes, concoctions to drink, and herbal balms to slather on her back. Nothing worked.

Then the wedding got postponed again and like an opportunistic feline eyeing taverna morsels, Tina made her move on Lefteri. 

During the downtime, Despina strategized growing her business. Once Despina was able to walk, she started exercising again to strengthen her back—only now she used a rubber mat and focused on low impact aerobics. She got stronger, and intensified the workouts.

Despina kicked Lefteri to the curb when he couldn't make up his mind. The local kamakis kept asking for her number as her body became ravishing. Lacking self-awareness or shame, construction crews on the government dole became even less productive when Despina would cross the steet.

Her clientele increased and she scaled up the business, adding cleaning ladies and commercial businesses by night and private homes by day. She dropped some hints and a young rising Peloponesian pop sensation Manolako asked her out. They were both obsessed with the kapsoura kind of love that most only experience at the movies. They married within the year and a few months later had twins on the way.

Matthew Stafford was laid up during training camp getting epidurals due to an aggravated disk in his back. He has a history of back injuries including broken bones in 2019, and a spinal cord contusion that ended his 2022 season along with the concussions.

He has been relatively healthy since then, although he took some big hits last year while trying to keep the team in the playoff race while Puka Nakua and Cooper Kupp were out with injuries.

Pundits had a hard time predicting how this season would go for the Rams when Stafford was kept out of practice during preseason. The Greek Uncles in Chicago didn't include the Rams in their playoff picks, largely because of his back issues. There were also concerns about the offense last season. A lot of blame was placed on coaching, injuries at receiver, and Kupp's regression. But another question lingered: Is Stafford getting old?  

Last year the Rams seemed unable to score once they got inside the 10-yard line and they were putrid on third down. 

The Rams replaced Kupp with Davante Adams, who has been a monster in the red zone, scoring 9 touchdowns from inside the 5-yard line. Their analytics guy moved on and coach Sean McVay dramatically reduced his use of 11 personnel compared to last year.

Most importantly, Stafford has been healthy and he is leading the best team in the league to the top slot in the NFC. This week they play the Falcons, who have been playing better the last couple weeks under Kirk Cousins' leadership.

Take the Rams (-8). The public is betting pretty heavily on Atlanta at home. The public is also betting on the Panthers to cover against the Seahawks but we like the Seahawks (-7) to keep the race for NFC West interesting. Finally, take the Saints (-1.5) to cover at home against the feisty Titans.

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