Wildcard Weekend
- Abram Sexson and Panayiotis Mamalis
- 1 hour ago
- 4 min read
Kosta was trembling, frigid and feigning confidence, perched on the edge of the harbor like an old, weathered pelican.
He knew now he shouldn’t have eaten so many of Yiayias’ succulent melomakarona around the holidays. His speedo was tighter than he remembered it being in the fall, asphyxiating his “poulaki.”
The shrinkage is a thing for all of Sampatiki village to see. All this for the blessed cross, the elusive trophy, the validation he had been yearning for as long as he could remember.
You see, in Greek Orthodox tradition, January 6 is the celebration of the Epiphany, or the manifestation of Jesus’ divinity to all people through the baptism of Christ in the waters of the river Jordan.
In Greece, the most important ritual on this day is the "great blessing of the waters," which is performed by the local Greek Orthodox priest with the best arm strength. On that day the local priest hurls the holy cross into the deep while a throng of strapping speedo clad young men brave the cold and dive into the harbor to retrieve it. The winner earns favor for a year and the bravado of being the undisputed village stud.
Kosta had dreamed of being the one to recover the cross since he was a little boy. A near deadly goat stampede left his ankle maimed. He hated the new nickname he got after the accident, Koutsos (crippled) Kostas, but had resigned himself to a lesser life.
Then, he heard about Christian McCaffrey from his cousin Nick in Tarpon Springs. In 2024, McCaffrey missed the first 8 games due to an Achilles sprain, and then a knee injury cost him the last 5 games of the season. He worked hard to come back doing physical therapy and strengthening the knee.
McCaffrey had a great season and proved he's the best running back in the league.
Inspired by McCaffrey, and (melomakarona aside), Kosta worked hard to get his ankle ready and dive for the cross. But, he was up against stiff competition.
Whatever miracles lay under the surface Big Babi was not going to let a cripple beat him.
He needed the blessing of the cross to help him pass the Panhellenic exams so he could go to the University of Thessaly and research how to reproduce the Greek tomato around the world.
Kosta had good positioning, but Father Fanis came down with laryngitis and his backup, Father Argyros, had a cannon of an arm.
The winds were strong and northerly producing surf up to 8 Beaufort. More than any other year this would be a race of endurance, a slugfest, and gauntlet for the gold.
Kostas’ jump was slow, but his will was strong. Babis was the classic bully and came off the blocks blazing throwing the token elbow at Kostas’ rib cage on the way.
Father Argyros’ 34-meter throw, stands as the longest on record. Battling crashing waves and lack of visibility most were succumbing to the elements. Kostas was unrelenting, steady and steely. The dolphin stroke he had practiced pierced the waves until it flashed before him—the cross in all its radiant and holy beauty!
He gasped a breath of half surf and half salty dream laden air. He almost died down there.
Father Argyros had flung the cross so far it was caught up in the anchor of Yiannis fishing boat. Kostas grasped it and wasn’t letting go. Neither was the anchor.
Big Babis brute strength lifted the anchor, wrestled away the cross, smacking Kostas across the chin with it on his way up.
The paramedics had to retrieve Kostas’ unconscious form from the surf and clear his lungs, along with any flickering fantasies of grandeur.
It's the first week of the playoffs. Like the Epiphany, each team's slate is purified and the title is truly up for grabs. Who will the waters expose, and who will they christen? Football deity requires this purge; its manifestation is made in these waters.
The 49ers (+6.5) have some key injuries (electromagnetic fields anyone?) coming into their game against the Eagles. But the opening line movement from 4.5 is too much. Take the plucky 49ers to find their way to the cross in the murky waters by the Benjamin Franklin bridge and cover.
We love the Panthers (+10.5) as a home dog nobody believes in. If you have the onions, bet them on the Moneyline. Jacksonville has had an exceptional first season under their new coach, but the party ends this weekend. The Bills cover (-1).
The Chargers have played valiantly this season overcoming deficits at the offensive line for much of the season. We are tempted to back them but ultimately went with the Pats' (-3.5) consistency, home field advantage and late form.
We are riding the Steelers again to cover as home dogs (+3). Hopefully, the holy water that the priest blessed the end zone with lays another week.
We are leaning towards the Bears against the Packers due to Green Bay limping into the tournament injured. They did rest last week so they may be refreshed. The Bears' defense has not played well overall, but they are turnover machines. It's a stay away for us.