Something Fishy: Week 2 Picks

The philosopher Heraclitus once said "You cannot step into the same river twice."

For a guy who has been working in the NFL for nineteen seasons, Dolphins coach Mike McDaniel should know a thing or two about swimming faster than the sharks in order to stay ahead of the schematic curve. And yet, after last week's opening loss in Indianapolis, McDaniel's fourth as head coach, the team may be suffering from salt water poisoning.

The Dolphins remind us of the summer Taki kept telling everyone that he was getting called up to DJ at Cavo Paradiso in Mykonos. Now don’t get us wrong, his resident spot “Koukou’s Nest” in Tripoli is a bumping spot—especially in August when the Chicagoans are in town with their greenbacks, suppressed kefi, and sunken eyes.

Cash would fly, sambuca would flow and spirits would rise. Taki knew the drill; some 80s disco for the older Swedes, Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believin',” and a spattering of Bon Jovi for the Amerikani. Then he’d tantalize them with the alluring sway of tsifteteli and finally finish them off with a full throttle blast of bouzoukia for the home stretch. 

Skyladiko,  or Greek “dog house” folk music is not EDM. The bouzouki drops different than the bass. Taki could adjust to the occasional crowd of Swedes, Germans and Americans in Tripoli, but Mykonos was a cosmopolitan crowd. Tripoli to Mykonos was like going from Madison, Alabama’s Rocket City Trash Pandas to the New York Yankees overnight.

There is a reason that it just doesn’t happen and, suffice to say his set didn't quite work in Mykonos.

Like Taki, DJ McDaniels talks about adapting. Some would say he’s been the chameleon his Miami makeover conveys. Aurora, Colorado to Yale then a 17-year turnstile of coaching gigs around the league with a stop at the California Redwoods along the way.

Like Bouzouki for Taki, the Shanahan tree is in his blood. If you know how McDaniel got his first internship with the Broncos, then you know that's no exaggeration. Is he posturing or can he really scratch out high octane wins with Chris Grier as the general manager? Grier’s decision to pay big money for middling quarterback Tua Tagovailoa has led to a consistent inability to procure a cohesive offensive line and defense.  

And that's just the dorsal fin of their problems poking up out of the water. There are rumors receiver Tyreek Hill may get suspended or traded. The whole situation has left McDaniel’s job on the line and put Tua’s life in limbo. Last Sunday’s debacle was Tua’s worst passer rating ever. It’s so dire the team called a players only meeting Tuesday, which has to be the earliest player's only event in league history.

Will the guys dance for DJ Mac? How will he mix this next track?  Is he indeed agile enough to read his room and adapt, winning with the hand Grier has dealt him? Or is his football genre less versatile than his sneaker game and the unforgiving demands this exacting league requires? 

Even though his days in Miami are numbered, he can pull the team together and beat the Patriots one more time. Pick the Dolphins (-1.5) to cover and after the game wait a few days for the odds to improve and pick DJ McDaniel to be the first coach fired this season in the NFL.

As an upset special we like the Browns getting 11.5 points on the road in Baltimore. That is just too many points for a divisional game this early in the season. Remember twelve months ago after losing the opener to Kansas City in the final minutes when replay reversed an Isaiah Likely toe tapping touchdown ? The Ravens went back to Baltimore for a Week 2 game against the Gardner Minshew-led Raiders. Everyone put the Ravens as their "Survivor Pool" pick. The sports books installed Baltimore as a (-9) favorite. No way the Ravens could start 0-2!

Minshew, Antonio Pierce, and Davante Adams won outright 26-23. How crazy does that sound? The Ravens won’t step in that river twice, but we see the Mighty Flaccóns getting the backdoor cover.

Last Week 2-0.