Inglewood, CA — As the Los Angeles Chargers took the field for warmups at SoFi Stadium, fans at the gates were greeted by members of the LAPD and LAFD with unique gifts in hand. These gifts weren't your normal bobbleheads, commemorative pins, or foam fingers but rather a way to resuscitate the weary hearts of emotionally fatigued Chargers fans.
"I thought this was a nice gesture by the Spanos family, whose teams have put us through the wringer in the last decade," said Aaron Vrabel, a lifelong Chargers fan from Oceanside, CA. "They moved 2 hours north, and the same end-of-game shenanigans hitched a ride with them. People in the media call it 'Chargering,' salty ex-fans call it the Spanos Curse, but I just call them Cardiac Chargers: they're thrilling."
While a few other Chargers fans entering the stadium viewed the gift as tongue-in-cheek engineered by the team's award-winning social media team, some like Gabe Jensen of Lawndale, CA believe Spanos is taking preemptive measures to escape a litany of wrongful death lawsuits. "If enough people die in the stands from these last-second losses, they'll face a class action from the season ticket holders. Usually, our season ticket holders revolt by selling our tickets to opposing fans. But this time is different; this time, we need to bring in the heavy hitters like Larry H. Parker."
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Mervyn Cole is a comedian and die-hard Chargers fan based in Los Angeles, CA.
For more of his work, check out www.ramblingronnie.com